Master Chefs

We learned a very important lesson about seasoning cast iron pans tonight, namely, that you have to season cast iron pans.

Phlane (Official)

Sour Scour

Lenny's tank is clean, no thanks to any of you.

Phlane(Official)

Dog Food?

Is it sort of weird that the one place we can't find B-baby's food is at the pet store?
That's at least a little bit concerning, right?

Phlane(Official)

*Half of us Passed the Bar

Happy Constitution Day, everybody!

Here's to using your second amendment rights to express your first amendment rights, without finding out what the fifth and sixth amendments are for.

Phlane (Official), esq.*

Correlation/Causation

We've seen two parameds at two Wendy's in two days.
That Asiago Ranch Chicken Club must be real good.

Phlane (Official)

Our Sadness Weighs 4 Pounds

Were sorry we've been so grumpy lately.
It's just that our 4# bag of chocolate chips is almost empty, and we can't imagine what it would be like to live in a world without them.

Phlane (Official)

To Every Person Who has Ever Posted a Negative Comment on a News Site, Tweet, or Facebook Post:

You're completely and totally right! __________________ is by far the stupidest, "gayest," most "retarded," "brainless," "pedofilic" thing ever said/done/written. ________________ is incredibly socially destructive, unlike off-the-cuff put-downs directed toward anonymous internet users, which have a definite edifying purpose.
Let's modify the old "if you can't say anything nice" rule, and just say that if you wouldn't say it in person, you shouldn't say it online.

And we would totally say that to your face,
Phlane (Official)

Career Opportunity

We're now accepting applications for persons interested in cleaning Leonard's tank.

It's an unpaid position, you'd be doing it for the resume fodder.

Please contact
Phlane (Official)
for more information.